186.8 - 61.8 pounds to go

I'm keeping the number the same as last week, even though it was down 1.4 pounds on Friday. I don't want to keep "cheating" by logging weights from other days, just in case it was a fluke.

My training session Friday was incredibly hard. He had me doing new things that were so challenging that I sincerely felt like it was my first day working out. I had already been thinking about my knees lately. Even though I've lost weight, they seem to crack and snap a lot more and it kind of concerns me. And then what does the trainer have me doing? Jumping up onto a bench. I was absolutely petrified every time I had to do it. All I could picture was missing the bench and landing on my face, or catching the edge of the bench with my shoe. Instead, I landed on my face when I was doing the stability ball jackknives. If you've never seen one, feel lucky!

Basically, you get into push up position with your legs on a stability ball. Then you roll the ball inward, bringing your knees into your chest. Getting up onto the ball is a workout alone, and I tried several different ways, all of them being "the hard way." I got up there the first time just fine, he second time I kept falling off. And these hurt like mad. Of course there were girls at the gym doing these at the same time, making it look effortless and beautiful. Not mine! And when I went to get off, I think I took both legs off at the same time and ended up rolling forward and falling on my face. I kept making fun of myself for it, and told my trainer it was a good thing I didn't have him taking pictures this time around. His response made it that much worse: "you looked like a crime scene victim!" I guess a little humility is good though, or something. I left that workout feeling incredibly weak and fat.

At my meeting with the nutritionist, we decided to go back to basics. I explained that the scale still wasn't reflecting a loss, the sudden 8 pound gain has stuck around, and I just can't take it anymore. I need structure, and a plan. So, I'm eating toast with PB for breakfast with some almond milk, a banana at AM snack, half a sandwich and some fruit for lunch, a fruit (and yogurt if needed) for PM snack, and a small dinner of 3-4 oz. protein, a small starch, and veggies.

Being as I am worried about being hungry all the time, she wants me to drink tea before every meal. Way back, my doctor had said she didn't want me drinking too much tea, but never gave a reason. So, we're going with maybe she was worried about the caffeine until I can ask her, and until then, I am enjoying it! She also thinks that I might be experiencing a lot more hunger on the days I work because I am associating sitting at my desk with eating and watching the clock to see when I can eat next. It makes sense, and it might definitely attribute, so I'm willing to shake things up a bit.

I mentioned my fear for my knees, explaining how they don't hurt per se, but I notice that they make more noise when I pivot or whatnot, so she suggested drinking 2 tablespoons of tart cherry juice concentrate in the morning and afternoon with some water. I had this warm the other day and I am in love! It's not cheap, which has me a little concerned, but if it helps, I am all allotting the money for it! She also suggested that I wear knee braces when doing cardio, and if I try to keep up with jogging, to find a grassy/dirt path. I'm not sure how feasible that is but I'll have to keep my eyes open. At the very least, I'm hoping the braces will help keep things compressed and comforted.

Let's hope for a good weigh-in this coming week, and a better strength session where I don't feel so weak!