188.2 - 63.2 pounds to go!

So nice to see the scale move like that again! And even better to move into the 180's! The last time I was at this weight was probably senior year of high school, so 1997-98.

I still can't wrap my head around these new numbers. I know them enough to repeat them back on various websites I use to weigh-in, or to tell someone, but my brain just does not connect the dots. It's like I'm waiting for someone to jump out and yell "HAHA! We were manually setting your scale - you're really 245 pounds still."

I feel different, in that I have more energy. Not all the time, especially with the classes we were taking and how draining life can sometimes be. But in general, I can do a lot more than I used to without feeling winded or exhausted. I can also feel certain bones that I wasn't able to before, which I've mentioned in the past on here. My recent obsession has been with my collar bones. You can't see them just yet, but I constantly find myself feeling around that area since there is less padding there. 

Last I looked at my progress pictures, I still couldn't really tell a difference. As of a month ago, I've added pictures that are a bit more revealing as the other ones don't show my legs. I really wish I had taken those pictures in the beginning as well. For 50 pounds lost though, I don't see a huge difference. My huge belly is still there hanging in the wind, my fat rolls still waving "hello" on my back. I think those are the things keeping me from noticing a difference. I look down, or in the mirror, and I see that same old flab. It's supposedly gone down a few inches, but that's really not noticeable from my angle. 

Anyway, enough whining. I'm getting there, no matter what! So far, this has been an awesome experience. I've pushed myself to do things I never would have before. I've learned a lot about proper nutrition and fitness. I've gained a little more self-confidence just by showing myself that this journey is possible. As a young adult, I was always around family and relatives who exclaimed losing weight was just so hard, if not impossible. I don't recall ever hearing any of them mention what they were doing to lose weight, but it was hard! I think as I got older, even into high school, I held onto the hope that it would just go away on it's own, or that I would grow taller! But why bother trying to lose weight when all of these knowledgeable adults say it's impossible? I guess I just had to be ready. Like any other habit people are trying to create/break, I just had to want it. Sure, I had said in the past that I was sick of being fat, that I really wanted to be thinner and healthier, that I really wanted to lose weight, but I never did anything - nothing! I never wanted it enough. This time, it's mine! It's not impossible - it just takes time!


Current Weight: 188.2 pounds 
Current BMI: 34.42 
Pounds Lost: 56.8 pounds
BMI Lost: 9.22
Pounds to Meet Mini-Goal #3 (175): 13.2 pounds
Pounds until BMI is 'overweight' instead of 'very overweight' (176.5): 11.7 pounds

190.4 - 65.4 pounds to go

So Sunday's weigh-in was a cheat weigh-in again. We were visiting family 4 hours away and didn't have access to a scale, so I used Friday's number. We ate really, really bad all weekend: lots of fattening, greasy, fried food and way too much sodium. I was definitely feeling it come Sunday and just felt rather gross. The scale this morning was up 3.5 pounds or so from Friday so I am hoping to flush out the extra sodium over the next couple days and see that number return.


Today, I am really, really feeling discouraged. I am part of a group on MyFitnessPal that is all about eating to lose weight. The group organizer has done tons of research and freely gives the info to anyone interested so that they can educate themselves and see his sources of information. Last week or so, I had used his information to calculate my BMR and TDEE. Following his directions to the letter, it proposed that I eat 1634 calories + exercise calories, or 1850 calories no matter what. I was thrilled to set my daily amount to 1850 after how hungry I've been lately. I had asked him to run my numbers just in case I was incorrect and this weekend he finally got around to it. His advice is the following:


BMR 1247 
TDEE 1932 
Set MFP to 1546 daily 
Protein and Fats 30% each If you have no fat movement in 2 weeks adjust Protein up and carbs down.


For some reason, seeing 1546, which is 100 lower than what I was previously, just depresses me. For one, I was eating around that and constantly hungry. Second, I've been eating 300 more than that for about a week, which had me feeling more full but I was also not really losing much of anything.


And that's the thing about weight-loss: everyone has different advice and there's really no way of knowing who is correct! My nutritionist doesn't like counting calories but rather prefers that I eat healthy. Lots of people agree with this, but also feel that a calorie amount is needed to create a deficit. Still others point to the fact that a deficit is a deficit, even if you eat junk. People like myself that want to know all of the why's and how-come's are left confused. 


I'm really just hoping something works to kick-start things again. The last couple weigh-ins have been good, but before that it was beginning to go down one week and stay steady for a couple weeks. The one year mark is closing in, and while I realize I won't hit the 100 pound mark like I wanted, I'd at least like to hit 80. 


**Edit: I finally figured out, with the help of some searching and a MyFitnessPal friend, how the group organizer got a different number. The Fat2Fit BMR calculator uses goal weight in it's calculation, so in a sense, you are eating like the thinner person you want to become. The organizer runs the numbers on a separate calculator using current weight as a goal weight and then just cuts 20% from TDEE. This method calls for less calories and has to be recalculated every 10 or so pounds. So, all is better now. I need to just learn to breathe.

191.8 - 66.8 pounds to go!

So this week's weigh-in I cheated. It's the first time I've ever done it, and I sort of feel bad, but I don't at the same time. We always weigh-in on Sunday. Whatever that number is, we record it. Well, this last week, I rocked all week. I clearly got the excess sodium/water out of my system and I was careful to not go over by much and see the scale creep back up. Then we met up some people on Saturday at Buffalo Wild Wings. That always blows things out of the water. If there is anything healthy on their menu, I would love to know what it is. I opted for a basket of buffalo chips, which I thought were supposed to be unsalted, but came salted (ugh!) and some wings. I had planned on only eating three wings at most since they are packed with sodium and focusing on the unsalted potato slices. That didn't go so well. So, can you guess what happened on weigh-in morning? Yup, scale was up. Granted it was only .6 pounds of water weight, but it would have meant another week with no loss. So, instead, my weigh-in was my Saturday morning weight. There, I explained it. I feel better and there's no way you can make me change it! For the record, since I weigh myself unofficially every day just to check on water weight from sodium, etc, today the scale said 190.4! Maybe come Sunday I'll be in the 180'! Man that would rock.

This feeling of constantly being hungry is driving me insane! I've been eating two morning snacks and two afternoon snacks like the nutritionist suggested and I still can't shake it. Even now, I've had my toast with PB and almond milk, a banana and almonds (which I ate early!) and my stomach is hurting. I told the husband last night that if it goes on much longer, I'm going to break down and just have a day where I eat (healthy, not junk) and just go over my calories by as much as is necessary to feel full. At the moment, I am waiting for some people from a group I belong to on MyFitnessPal to run my numbers for me and check my BMR and TDEE against what I calculated. I'm fairly certain my daily calories are within 50 calories of the "sedentary" calorie level, but I am so hoping they suggest upping them a couple hundred or so. And this time, I'm recording the info here since MFP decided to delete my messages after a couple months without warning.

193.0 - 68.0 pounds to go

These are definitely the kind of weeks that make it or break it for people trying to lose weight. For the past two weeks, I've been diligently walking 2 miles at work. It takes me roughly 37 minutes and is quite hilly in some spots. Fridays are gym days now that we have a personal trainer again, and we've even been going on Saturdays as well. So why the half pound gains the past couple of weeks? I have not a clue.

My meeting with the nutritionist went well. I told her about being constantly hungry the last couple of weeks and she set me up eating more snacks throughout the day saying that it's a sign of a higher metabolism (which I remembered her saying, but shouldn't that mean a loss, not a gain?) I am all for eating more though because the last couple weeks have been awful! It eventually got to the point where my morning banana would not hold me through to lunch. Aside from that, I had only lost 3 pounds since my previous visit and she said she wants to see me lose more, to which I said "you and me BOTH!" I guess all I can do is hope that it's muscle building from my walks and personal training sessions, but I've not researched how quickly muscle builds to know if that's a plausible cause.

We did measurements and photos yesterday. Here are my starting measurements and yesterday's:
Neck: 16" / 14.25" ---- 1.75" lost
Bicep: 15" / 13.75" ---- 1.25" lost
Chest: 49" / 43.75" ---- 5.25" lost
Waist: 49" / 43.75" ---- 5.25" lost
Hips: 50" / 46.5" ---- 3.5" lost
Thigh: 26" / 22.5" ---- 3.5" lost
Calf: 17.25" / 16" ---- 1.25" lost

Total inches lost: 21.75

192.6 - 67.6 pounds to go

The gain this week is water weight, so I'm not fretting about it. Earlier in the week I was at 191.4, so I have a feeling somewhere around 191 was what I would have been at had it not been for all the sodium I ingested over the weekend. My eldest niece is staying with us for her spring break and came down on her birthday, so it felt appropriate to take her out dinner as she had not celebrated yet. Of course we chose our favorite place, a Japanese steakhouse. She had never been to one (apparently we took her sister years ago but not her!) and agreed to trying it (and loved it!) But clearly that wasn't enough salt, no no. Her and I went grocery shopping the following night and dinner was really late, so we picked up pizza. Normally I would feel bad, but I don't recall having pizza since late November. I could check the MFP records, but I'm feeling too lazy, so let's agree on November.

I had my first training session with the new trainer and it was great! He's got a sense of humor and I don't feel like he's judging every word that comes out of my mouth, or doing sales pitches for supplements! He mainly had me doing core work, which is what I had wanted our other trainer to do. Saturday and Sunday I was in a great deal of pain from being so sore, and today I still am in a couple of spots. I had told him I had missed that feeling, up until that feeling was back! Now we have the fun part of paying for more sessions with him though. I swear I need a part-time job just to be able to afford it.