Previously Lost Body Parts

I almost completely forgot: last week I noticed I can feel the bone right below my knee cap! I have no idea what the bone is to word that a little more eloquently, but whatever. So yeah, all week I've been bending and unbending my leg just so I can feel it. I've also noticed for a couple weeks that my neck/upper chest area has thinned down a bit and while I can't quite see my collarbones, I can feel more than I did!

192.4 - 67.4 pounds to go!

That weigh-in was a pleasant surprise! Maybe getting up and moving is the key point I need to remember if I want the scale to move more than a pound at a time. I made sure to walk every day on my lunch hour, doing my little stints of jogging. Then we met with our new trainer on Friday and did a workout then. All week I noticed I was much more hungry, which was a good sign! I continued jogging during my walk at work, but conquered my fear of running on the treadmill at the gym! So now that I know I can do it, I may give it a break for a bit as it drove my heart rate a bit too high.

I met with my doctor on Tuesday to have my blood pressure medication re-evaluated. I've been really bad at taking them and figured I should probably go see her rather than potentially hurting myself. The wonderful news was that I no longer need them! The nurse checked me initially and got a reading of 127/72. After talking with my doctor for a bit, she decided to take a reading as well and it had spiked to 148/76. So while the top number wasn't great, she said the bottom number was and I'm in no danger of stroking out or anything! That was such a wonderful, wonderful feeling. I used to dread the doctor's office so bad because it was always high. I think when I initially got put on them, I was about this weight, but I was around 150-160/110. But now, so long Ziac! I hope to not see you for a very, very long time, if ever again!

The new trainer feels like a great match, I'm just not sure how we'll be able to afford seeing him twice per week  (once for both of us) at $70 a session. Doing the math, that's more than my house payment per month! But he did seem to approach things a bit differently than our last trainer, which is good. He also seemed to be on the same page as me when it comes to nutrition. I laughed when he mentioned watching sodium levels on food because I already drive the husband crazy. But he had some good info, like using whole cooked chicken/turkey in place of lunch meat (which means we'll use chicken/turkey breasts otherwise we would waste it.) He also explained the whole "breakfast is the most important meal of the day" thing. Our bodies fast throughout the night since we're not eating, which means it is breaking down muscle to feed itself. Come morning, we need to feed our body to tell it "you're being fed now - stop breaking down muscle please!" He explained that it's also important to eat carbs at breakfast, as they are a source of energy and will digest more quickly than, say, protein (though there are slower burning carbs like oatmeal.) Kinda neat though, huh? I thought so.

Oh yeah! 7.4 pounds to go before I'm halfway home! It's all downhill from there, right?!

.29 miles

.29 miles - that's the distance I can job. If you want to get technical, it's even less than that - .13 and .16 miles. I decided I wanted to clock the distance yesterday while out for my lunch walk/job around campus, and that was the app I used told me. Today I struggled with it, and probably only hit .28. I fought, I told myself not to give in to the pain, to picture myself heading toward a goal line. I just couldn't do it though. Maybe it's the seasonably warm weather (76 degrees with a real feel of 83 degrees), or that this was the third day in a row, but eventually I'll get there. Half a mile is my new goal. It doesn't even half to be all at once - interval training is quite the thing! Just as long as it's half a mile. Maybe in two months. Or three.

194.8 - 69.8 pounds to go!

I've officially hit the 50 pound mark, and I still cannot much of a difference when I look at progress pics/myself in the mirror. Sure, I wear smaller clothing, I can feel my hip bones when I lay down (which I always find myself feeling as though I have a growth, lol), the scale says a smaller number and people say they see a big difference, but to me, it's just not a big difference. Not a 50 pound difference. Not a you-lost-a-small-child difference. And definitely not a you've-lost-20%-of-your-starting-weight difference. I know, I probably come across as whiny and needy. I'm trying not to, believe me. Fifty pounds is a lot! I've tried to lift it at the gym and I struggle. That's two big buckets of kitty litter (I struggle carrying one!) I just don't "feel it." I have more energy, I am stronger than I thought, I can do more than I gave myself credit for, I can walk/bike faster, I can jog!!! But I guess my struggle is that I still look down and see this big ole flabby gut hanging down and it doesn't feel like it's gone down at all. It has obviously, because I can fit into smaller pants, but it seems to be taking it's sweet time. 


I'll stop whining now and mention some highlights from the last couple weeks. Last week, I decided to hit up Fashion Bug because they had a great deal on dress pants (never mind that the fit I get means upping 2 pant sizes, grrr, why make them that way?!) While looking around, a woman decided to strike up a conversation with me about her whole life story. During that though, she held up a shirt asking my opinion and said "this is a 3X though, it won't fit you. What are you, like a 1X?" OMG! I almost wanted to hug her, aside from that fact that I would come across crazier than her. I wish I could tell like so many others can!


Thursday, March 15, I jogged! Like really, really jogged! Thanks to my nutritionist, I got up the nerve to just try it. Granted I didn't take her advice in picturing a paper blowing away from me, or something chasing me, but I figured outside of the gym would be the least anxiety provoking. It wasn't far by any means, nor fast, but I hadn't jogged sine probably 1996. I was still anxious, and kept checking over my shoulder before I started, but the feeling of accomplishment soon took over. And today I jogged a little bit further! Maybe soon I'll be up to half a mile!

Tomorrow I go to the doctor's to see what my BP is like off of meds. I haven't taken them in quite a while, so I figured I need to see what it's like without rather than assuming it's okay, and maybe get a lower dosage (I hope!) Plus, it will be my first visit since 2002 where the scale will read under 200! That's the most exciting part! The assistant normally puts it at 150 first and then slides the top part over, and I always wanted to tell her "who are you kidding? I'm well over 200!" But now I won't have to! YAY!

And here's this update that I hadn't done in quite a long time!


Current Weight: 194.8 pounds 
Current BMI: 35.63 
Pounds Lost: 50.2
BMI Lost: 8.01 
Pounds to Meet Mini-Goal #3 (175):  19.8
Pounds until BMI is 'very overweight' instead of 'severely obese' (191.2): 3.6 pounds

196.2 - 71.2 pounds to go!

Ah, sodium, how I loathe thee. I feel like I will never get a grasp on eating less than 2,000 mg of sodium per day. Of course, I was blessed with being kind of sensitive to excess sodium, so anything over about 2,000 mg equals water retention. The husband, yeah, not so much. He saw a gain this week as well but that's because we caved and ate at our super fantastical favorite restaurant (a Japanese steakhouse) which threw us over by quite a bit. Even days we cook at home I tend to get really close to the daily recommended value of 2,500 mg. Guess I'll have something new to research.

My meeting with the nutritionist went pretty well. I'm obviously a bit flustered that I've only lost about 5 pounds since I saw her four weeks ago, but she's always right there to reassure me that I'm exactly where I need to be and it was a loss nonetheless. She also reminded me that just because we are super duper busy with classes, homework, exams, house stuff, life in general, and cannot get to the gym, we can always *walk outside!* Thankfully we're not the only ones who get tunnel-vision and think "gym or nothing" when it comes to exercising. As she pointed out, we started eating better and we joined a gym, at the same time, so we naturally equate the two. Just seems a bit silly that I would forget in my opinion. I literally had just looked at my stationary bike the day before and thought to myself, "Duh! Ride the bike when you can, dummy!" We also chatted about my inability to accept how much I have lost thus far. To me, 50 pounds just doesn't feel like a lot. For someone who only have a little bit to lose, sure! But I still have 70+ pounds to go, another 50 at the very least. I still don't see much of a difference. In fact, while we were away for the weekend, I wore a new pair of pajama bottoms and was admiring that they fit. And what did I end up saying? "Huh, I look skinnier...there's clearly something wrong with this mirror." lol

So, the weekend went pretty dismally as far as food goes. We were in Traverse City for our niece's 2nd birthday, which meant eating out for almost every meal, eating birthday cake, trying to behave but still going over. I think it balanced out with being under the day we came back home, but again, the sodium. /shakes fist vigorously!

This week I'm going to try and work on my sodium intake. I really wish food manufacturers would realize how bad it is and cut back. I'm also going to go for walks at work, at the very least, since the weather is supposed to be in the 60's all week! Yay for a *very* mild winter and the onset of spring!

Oh, and measurements/pictures are a couple weeks late thanks to our busy schedule. Hopefully that just means more of a difference!

195.6 - 70.6 pounds to go

Yup, the scale didn't budge this week. Purely water weight I am sure, so no big deal. Hopefully soon I'll get back to losing ~2 pounds per week. January really set me back and is messing with my head. I keep feeling like I haven't lost much since the holidays - probably about 15 pounds. My parents hadn't seen me since then and stopped by over the weekend and both commented about how much I've lost since then. Maybe it's just me. Fifteen is better than nothing, but still messes with me and makes me feel like I'm crawling along.

We've been completely redoing our bedroom this past week and one of the items on the list is a mirror. It was actually kind of nice shopping for one and seeing myself. I kind of feel like I never get to aside from at work where I can see myself waist up in the bathroom. I still don't know that I see 50 pounds of difference, but I see a little one.

Our other major renovation to the bedroom is the closet. We ended up buying one big dresser and two smaller ones for the closets because I am tired of running out of room. When we put things back to normal though, I plan on going through clothes and tossing aside the things that no longer fit. Last night, right before bedtime, I suddenly panicked and realized that all of my work clothes were either dirty or stuffed in a basket somewhere in the sea of bedroom belongings that are temporarily strewn all over our loft. My solution was to see if my old pants still fit in the slightest. I kind of figured a belt might help and make it doable. No go, not at all. Which I seem to recall trying before, hence the progress pic of the old pants on bottom with new on top. Instead I quickly dug out my work clothes and started laundry, noting that we have to purge some of our old clothes. It will be a sad, sad day for sure. I have a lot of cute t-shirts than I absolutely do not want to get rid of that are getting too big. Why can't they be taken in on the sides?!