180.2 - 55.2 pounds to go!

So, I'm having very mixed feelings about this week's weigh-in. On one hand, I am so ecstatic that the scale went down, especially by 3.4 pounds! But on the other hand, I feel like it won't last.

I saw my doctor on July 23 to get some blood work done. It had been a few months since my last profile, and even longer since my last cholesterol check. Of course, with all the stress and drama in my life lately, it wasn't all good news. I had been monitoring my BP since March when she agreed to take me off of it and the measures were never that great: not as high as they used to be, but still a bit high, particularly the top number. While I was there, I measure 140/87 and then 152/90. Years ago, that number was more around 155-160/110-15, so it has improved, just not as much as I was hoping. So the bad news is that she placed me on a diuretic (water pill) in hopes that it will help with the numbers a bit. This, in turn, equaled a big loss on the scale this week and now I'm left worrying that when I stop taking it, the pounds will go back on again.

The good news from the visit is pretty great though! My cholesterol came in at 202, just 2 points above "normal." It's not been that low, ever! My HDL increased, LDL decreased, and triglycerides decreased: all were considered in the "normal" range. At my previous visit, she had checked my glucose levels, even though I told her I had recently eaten, and then stated she wanted me to continue on Glucophage. This is always fun to explain to people taking a medical history as I am not diabetic, but have Poly-cystic Ovarian Syndrome which can cause insulin intolerance. The worst thing about this pill, for me anyway, is that it makes me really ill when I first start taking it, and I am horrible at remembering to take pills. Add to that the iron pills I was on, which really upset my stomach, and I was one miserable individual!

At this appointment, I got to tell her again, with shame in my voice, that I hadn't been taking either. She weighed me in, congratulated me on losing another 9 pounds since I saw her in March, and then informed me that depending on the results ,she may switch me to a timed-release glucose pill, a different type of iron pill, and since my vitamin D was also always low, a smaller dose of that. I felt so discouraged leaving there. I've worked so hard to lose those 65 pounds, hoping the whole way that I could get rid of my medicine cocktail, and I was leaving with the possibility of it having not changed. And then those results - I about did a happy dance! My numbers had gotten better in spots, but I truly think that eating out at restaurants, even though we were trying to make better decisions, restrained them from improving much.

So the great news is the improved blood profile! My iron is still low, but low normal. My vitamin D was normal due to all those wonderful walks outside! My cholesterol levels have improved to numbers I have never seen! But that cursed water pill. I sincerely need to learn to chill out and look into things like yoga and meditation. It seems unbelievable that I could quiet my brain, but it is definitely a goal!

We took new measurements and photos as well. I'm working on figuring out a way to overlay two photos so that I can see a true difference. Looking at two pictures side by side just doesn't show the inches I have lost very well I've noticed. I played around with one program and tried lining up my face but the differences were so huge that I started to doubt it's accuracy. Hopefully soon I figure out how to gauge if the two photos are truly the same scale.

Measurements from 8/18/11 and 7/31/12 - almost one year apart!
Neck: 16" / 13.75"
Bicep(R): 15" / 13.25"
Bicep(L): 15" / 13.5" (starting measurement is an estimate as it was not taken)
Chest: 49" / 42.5"
Waist: 49" / 42.5"
Hips: 50" / 45.25"
Thigh(R): 26" / 21.5"
Thigh(L): 26" / 22.25" (starting measurement is an estimate as it was not taken)
Calf(R): 17.25" / 15"
Calf(L): 17.25"/ 15.25" (starting measurement is an estimate as it was not taken)
Body Fat Percentage: 54% / 40.5%

That brings the total number of inches lost to 35.75, and a 13.5% decrease in body fat. None too shabby!

Current Weight: 180.2 pounds
Current BMI: 32.96
Pounds Lost: 64.8 pounds
BMI Lost: 10.68
Pounds to Meet Mini-Goal #3 (175): 5.2 pounds
Pounds until BMI is 'overweight' instead of 'very overweight' (176.5): 3.7 pounds

188.2 - 63.2 pounds to go!

So nice to see the scale move like that again! And even better to move into the 180's! The last time I was at this weight was probably senior year of high school, so 1997-98.

I still can't wrap my head around these new numbers. I know them enough to repeat them back on various websites I use to weigh-in, or to tell someone, but my brain just does not connect the dots. It's like I'm waiting for someone to jump out and yell "HAHA! We were manually setting your scale - you're really 245 pounds still."

I feel different, in that I have more energy. Not all the time, especially with the classes we were taking and how draining life can sometimes be. But in general, I can do a lot more than I used to without feeling winded or exhausted. I can also feel certain bones that I wasn't able to before, which I've mentioned in the past on here. My recent obsession has been with my collar bones. You can't see them just yet, but I constantly find myself feeling around that area since there is less padding there. 

Last I looked at my progress pictures, I still couldn't really tell a difference. As of a month ago, I've added pictures that are a bit more revealing as the other ones don't show my legs. I really wish I had taken those pictures in the beginning as well. For 50 pounds lost though, I don't see a huge difference. My huge belly is still there hanging in the wind, my fat rolls still waving "hello" on my back. I think those are the things keeping me from noticing a difference. I look down, or in the mirror, and I see that same old flab. It's supposedly gone down a few inches, but that's really not noticeable from my angle. 

Anyway, enough whining. I'm getting there, no matter what! So far, this has been an awesome experience. I've pushed myself to do things I never would have before. I've learned a lot about proper nutrition and fitness. I've gained a little more self-confidence just by showing myself that this journey is possible. As a young adult, I was always around family and relatives who exclaimed losing weight was just so hard, if not impossible. I don't recall ever hearing any of them mention what they were doing to lose weight, but it was hard! I think as I got older, even into high school, I held onto the hope that it would just go away on it's own, or that I would grow taller! But why bother trying to lose weight when all of these knowledgeable adults say it's impossible? I guess I just had to be ready. Like any other habit people are trying to create/break, I just had to want it. Sure, I had said in the past that I was sick of being fat, that I really wanted to be thinner and healthier, that I really wanted to lose weight, but I never did anything - nothing! I never wanted it enough. This time, it's mine! It's not impossible - it just takes time!


Current Weight: 188.2 pounds 
Current BMI: 34.42 
Pounds Lost: 56.8 pounds
BMI Lost: 9.22
Pounds to Meet Mini-Goal #3 (175): 13.2 pounds
Pounds until BMI is 'overweight' instead of 'very overweight' (176.5): 11.7 pounds

194.8 - 69.8 pounds to go!

I've officially hit the 50 pound mark, and I still cannot much of a difference when I look at progress pics/myself in the mirror. Sure, I wear smaller clothing, I can feel my hip bones when I lay down (which I always find myself feeling as though I have a growth, lol), the scale says a smaller number and people say they see a big difference, but to me, it's just not a big difference. Not a 50 pound difference. Not a you-lost-a-small-child difference. And definitely not a you've-lost-20%-of-your-starting-weight difference. I know, I probably come across as whiny and needy. I'm trying not to, believe me. Fifty pounds is a lot! I've tried to lift it at the gym and I struggle. That's two big buckets of kitty litter (I struggle carrying one!) I just don't "feel it." I have more energy, I am stronger than I thought, I can do more than I gave myself credit for, I can walk/bike faster, I can jog!!! But I guess my struggle is that I still look down and see this big ole flabby gut hanging down and it doesn't feel like it's gone down at all. It has obviously, because I can fit into smaller pants, but it seems to be taking it's sweet time. 


I'll stop whining now and mention some highlights from the last couple weeks. Last week, I decided to hit up Fashion Bug because they had a great deal on dress pants (never mind that the fit I get means upping 2 pant sizes, grrr, why make them that way?!) While looking around, a woman decided to strike up a conversation with me about her whole life story. During that though, she held up a shirt asking my opinion and said "this is a 3X though, it won't fit you. What are you, like a 1X?" OMG! I almost wanted to hug her, aside from that fact that I would come across crazier than her. I wish I could tell like so many others can!


Thursday, March 15, I jogged! Like really, really jogged! Thanks to my nutritionist, I got up the nerve to just try it. Granted I didn't take her advice in picturing a paper blowing away from me, or something chasing me, but I figured outside of the gym would be the least anxiety provoking. It wasn't far by any means, nor fast, but I hadn't jogged sine probably 1996. I was still anxious, and kept checking over my shoulder before I started, but the feeling of accomplishment soon took over. And today I jogged a little bit further! Maybe soon I'll be up to half a mile!

Tomorrow I go to the doctor's to see what my BP is like off of meds. I haven't taken them in quite a while, so I figured I need to see what it's like without rather than assuming it's okay, and maybe get a lower dosage (I hope!) Plus, it will be my first visit since 2002 where the scale will read under 200! That's the most exciting part! The assistant normally puts it at 150 first and then slides the top part over, and I always wanted to tell her "who are you kidding? I'm well over 200!" But now I won't have to! YAY!

And here's this update that I hadn't done in quite a long time!


Current Weight: 194.8 pounds 
Current BMI: 35.63 
Pounds Lost: 50.2
BMI Lost: 8.01 
Pounds to Meet Mini-Goal #3 (175):  19.8
Pounds until BMI is 'very overweight' instead of 'severely obese' (191.2): 3.6 pounds

New Goals!

I didn't think about this at the start, but now that I've actually exceeded my first mini goal, I realize I need to plan out some others! So, I'm going to write down not only some mini goals, but also a monthly progress chart. I remembered yesterday that the head trainer at the gym had asked how much I wanted to lose, and I think I said 100 or so. It should have been more, but I know the chart he made was for 100 pounds in a year. I scoffed at him like he was insane - I know not to set myself up for failure and look long-term like that! I know there will be set backs! But yesterday I created a little table to plot out 3 month "goals" to meet that 100 pounds in a year and  what do ya know, I'm actually on track so far! So, I'm  going to include those monthly goals as well, realizing full well that esp. with the holidays approaching (ugh!) there *will* be setbacks. There just will....

Mini Goal #1: 225 - Met 10/09/11

Mini Goal #2: 200

Mini Goal #3: 175

Mini Goal #4: 150

Ultimate Goal: 125

Monthly Goals / Recorded Weight: 

09/18/11: 230.0 / 230.6

10/16/11: 221.5 / 224.8

11/20/11: 213.0

12/18/11: 205.0

01/15/12: 196.5

02/19/12: 188.0

03/18/12: 180.0

04/15/12: 172.0

05/20/12: 163.0

06/17/12: 155.0

07/15/12: 146.5

08/19/12: 138.0