Letter to My Future Self

Dear Future Me,

Don't ever turn back! There will be rough days, that's just life. There will be days when you want to eat everything in sight or avoid exercise like the plague, but use your knowledge and skills to not go back to the 240's.

Today (and yesterday), I took a walk with a coworker around campus. To me, there isn't much of a big change. I still feel fat (cause I still am), I still get out of breath when we walk up the hills, I still feel like I could be going faster. But my coworker sees me differently and made me think back to walks we had taken before I started losing weight. I remembered my very first blog post described us walking:

"Last week I took a walk with some co-workers.... The sides of my calves burned, my face was red, I was out of breath, and once we came back inside, I thought I was going to pass out. Out of curiosity, I decided to find out just how long this walk was: 1 mile. One measly mile! ...maybe in due time, I'll be able to walk that mile without feeling like my head will explode from my heart pounding."

That time has come! Both days, we walked an average of 3 mph, which is a huge improvement for me! Sure, I was out of breath going uphill, especially the one steep one, but I've come a long way! My head isn't pounding, I was out of breath but easily holding a conversation, my calves aren't hurting AT ALL, and my face was barely red (and that may have been because it's 45 degrees and windy outside.)

So, future me, don't undo all we've worked toward. Your determination is strong and if you ever doubt that, just look back and remember the balance class we took: at 210-ish pounds, you were balancing on your back on a Bosu ball, curled up, arms outstretched in a triangle above you. Sure it wasn't a pretty picture I am sure, but YOU did it! When he demonstrated the move, I remember laughing and saying "I can't do that!" How wrong I was! Remember those little feats! Remember how great it is to see what you are really capable of doing! And always remember where you came from - that embarrassed, overweight person with the crackly knees that got winded going up one flight of stairs, that had no energy, that hurt just from being overweight and that turned down so many social occasions simply for fear of meeting new people. You are amazing, you can do this, and you have a great deal of knowledge and skills to help you out should you get stuck! Be proud of yourself!

Sincerely,

Me at 203-ish pounds