I have no idea what my deal was yesterday. Being as it was strength training day, I was looking forward to going to the gym for most of the day. A couple hours beforehand, I started to just feel mopey. I wanted to go home and lay on the couch, all evening. No exercise, no strength training, just couch. We still went, of course. Then the issue quickly became that it was bloody busy as hell in there. We parked and knew it was crowded and I repeated out loud that I had every right to be there, more in fact since I have so much to lose!
While doing squats, the head trainer corrected me on my foot positioning. No big deal and it helped cause the way I was doing it made my knees hurt! But then I noticed my trainer, exactly where I needed to be. Ugh! I know from training with her that she watches people. And having had the head trainer correct me, coupled with doing new things on my own that she never showed me, I was mortified. I ended up skipping a few exercises all out of sheer fear and embarrassment.
Heading home, I was disappointed in myself. I was angry we went and I didn't do as much as I wanted, and we were going to be eating late as usual. The prospect of waking up at 5am to go workout first does not appeal to me though. Maybe someday I will change my mind, but at the moment, no way!
I'm also dreading the inevitable S.A.D. that is coming up. The days are getting shorter and colder. I can just feel it deep down, clawing to get out. I desperately hope the husband has motivation to get me out the door. Now is when I really wish I had some followers for support later on. Or that I could live on the other side of the globe in a few months!
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