239.2 - 114.2 pounds to go

Well, it definitely wasn't the greatest result, but at least I didn't gain! I was honestly expecting the scale to say I had gained. It was a horrible week for food, including eating fast food several times, a conference where I felt like I ate way more than I should have, and eating at several restaurants, which usually aren't much better than fast food when you think about it. So, a .3 loss is definitely welcomed!

We finally watched "Food, Inc." last night, which did exactly what I thought it would do: repulse me on many levels. I'm angry at big companies controlling everything just to make big profits, angry that animals are treated so horribly, and angry that consumers are shielded from knowing where and how their food was produced. This did the same as the other movie we watched a couple/few years ago (and I can't recall the name): made me realize we have to make smarter choices. I loved the ending of "Food, Inc" simply for pointing out that as consumers, we have the say-so! Not the big companies, but us! That's a pull I'd like to take advantage of more than I do!

239.5 - 114.5 pounds to go

I did my weigh-in today as opposed to Sunday. Sunday's read said 242 and I knew there was no way I gained 4.5 pounds. I figured I would wait until today being as we spent a lot of time outside on Saturday in 90 degree weather with high humidity (think it said "real feel" was around 101). So between that and not taking my BP pill, I have a pretty good feeling I was retaining lots of water. So, here's to next week's weigh-in going better!

Current Weight: 239.5 pounds

Current BMI: 43.8

BMI Lost: 1

Pounds Lost: 5.5

Pounds to Meet Mini-Goal: 14.5

Pounds until BMI is 'obese' instead of 'morbidly obese': 21.5 pounds

Bad Girl!

I knew as I was doing it that it was bad. I was writing this post in my head. "Not eating lunch isn't a good thing. You know you have to eat 3 meals." But, I was lazy, we're in the middle of an upper-90 degree heat wave, and I really wasn't hungry at the time. I have no idea why I'm barely hungry lately, but I suspect it's just the summer affecting things.

The bigger thing is just wanting to do it for once. I feel like someone else took over my body. Who is this person *not* wanting ice tea to drink? Eating less, what? And on top of all that, I'm enjoying a financial book. Like can't-put-it-down enjoying it. Granted it depresses me that I can't do much with our mediocre income, especially when I see myself making less with a Master's degree than an in-law that never graduated, but I just have to be happy with where I am, or make a bigger effort to change things. No one else can do it for me. But this is a nice place. I'm slowly working to change things. One small, baby step at a time!

Still On The Path To Sunday

I think I did fairly well yesterday. I've been in the habit of only eating half of my breakfast. It's fast food oatmeal, so not great to begin with, but maybe half a serving isn't too bad. The only reason I love buying oatmeal in the morning, as stupid as this is to type, is to get a large ice water with extra ice. A big shock for me was them actually giving me unsweetened ice tea instead, which I used to *love* but instead made me crazy mad. I only drank about 1" worth out of the cup, maybe less because ice had melted.

Dinner was fun. We split a salad *and* the main course: a huge feat! I know he didn't want to split the entree with me, but I stood my ground! I ate a small helping and was comfortable instead of full. And...no dessert! When we left I was imagining going home and eating a bowl of frozen yogurt with hot fudge sauce, but instead I jumped at the opportunity to go shopping. A good diversion I think!

Hopefully Not a Set-Back

Last night I was in the mood for comfort food. Not sure what my deal was, but I felt like I do in the middle of winter: exhausted, lazy, craving heavy food. So we had a modified tater tot casserole: hamburger, cream of mushroom soup, mixed veggies, and mashed potatoes on top. No cheese, no tater tots. Not sure it was the most healthy dinner, even without the cheese and tater tots, but I guess I can't expect to eat nothing but healthy after years of not.

I resisted the urge to weigh myself. I'm anxious to find out if I've lost more weight, but I know I have to wait until Sunday. I certainly hope the motivation sticks. With several people around me losing weight, I really need to jump on the bandwagon.

Goals

Using the format from from Jennette Fulda's site:

Starting Weight: 245 pounds

Starting BMI (Body Mass Index): 44.8

Mini-Goal Weight: 225 pounds

Goal Weight: 125 pounds

Weight to Lose: 120 pounds

Pounds until BMI is 'obese' instead of 'morbidly obese': 27 pounds (218)

238.6 - 113.6 pounds to go

Clearly my "this is it" moment faded. 16 months later and I am still in the same spot. Funny how I didn't even recall the specifics of that post, only that I made one proclaiming that "now is the time to change!" 16 months later I could have changed! Even if I had only lost 2 pounds per week for 3 of the 4 weeks per month, that's still 96 pounds. Even with a big plateau, setbacks, etc. it could have been at least 50. /sigh

I read "Half-Assed: A Weight Loss Memoir" by Jennette Fulda last week, which reminded me that I'm not alone. Others have had similar experiences, similar feelings, similar triumphs and failures. Some carry on and others make a decision to change their lifestyle.

Fortunately, out of nowhere, I think my taste buds had decided to veto a lot of the crap I was putting into my mouth. I slowly began drinking less pop and switched over to iced tea. After the doctor said she didn't want me drinking much iced tea and that I should drink water, I slowly and unintentionally started switching back to water. Years ago I drank lots of water, probably too much in fact. Not sure why I stopped, or when for that matter, but I did. So while others are recounting their difficulty in jumping off of the soda train, I got off at a stop. On the rare occasion I take a sip of Coke, remembering fondly how much I loved fountain Coke, I'm taken aback by how sickly sweet and carbonated it is. Maybe it was the article explaining how bad the caramel color is, or the amount of sugar in there, but some switch flipped and for that, I am thankful.

Over the weekend, we watched our 1 year old nephew. Lord, is that a lot of work. Definitely showed me that we could not possibly have a child in the shape we are in if we wanted. Food-wise, I found myself not wanting to eat. I didn't want hamburger or pizza. Without trying, I'm slowly evolving into a food snob, which is good because maybe it will help me recognize the bad food choices before they go into my mouth!

To end on a positive note,I had used my sister in law's scale after putting the nephew to bed. I had hoped all my efforts to drink more water and eat less had paid off but knew I wouldn't be able to tell. So I hopped (well stepped, or it would have busted) on their scale, only to be sorely disappointed that it read 245.x. It was frustrating to know I had taken some little steps and they weren't paying off. To humor myself, I weighed myself at home the following morning, remembering to wait until morning to reduce the chances of water retention, food, waste, etc. could sway the outcome. To my surprise, it said 238.6! Under 240! WOOHOO! So, maybe I just needed to do it on my time, or see others doing it, or hear the doctor say it was nice to see someone move down on the scale for once, I don't know. But here's hoping!

Current Weight: 238 pounds

Current BMI: 43.5

BMI Lost: 1.3

Pounds Lost: 7

Pounds to Meet Mini-Goal: 13

Pounds until BMI is 'obese' instead of 'morbidly obese': 20 pounds